kalaulah kita tahu

kalaulah kita tahu betapa dekatnya mati dengan kita, takkan kita nak sibukkan diri dengan perkara2 remeh yang tak mendatangkan faedah.

kalaulah kita tahu apa yang menunggu kita selepas mati, takdelah kita nak berfikirkan perkara2 remeh dan rapu, bercakap perkara sia2, dan macam2 lagi.

kalaulah kita tahu apa yang berlaku pada hari esok, konfem manusia takkan bekerja, berfikir, berusaha.

(maaf, ini adalah after effect dissection class)

(note: apoptosis = cell death)

tak ade life?

bila orang cakap, "ko ni asyik study aje, takde life langsung."

"ko ni asyik usrah je, takde life langsung"

"ko ni asyik main je, takde life langsung."

"ko ni asyik bersuka ria aje, don't waste your life man...."

"ko ni asyik duduk dalam bilik je, takde life langsung."

"ko ni asyik party je, takde life langsung."

orang ni cakap orang tu takde life. orang tu cakap orang ni takde life.

siapa yang takde life sebenarnya?

bagi aku, dua2 pun sama. kalau dia ada life sangat, takdenye nak fikir orang lain ade life ke tidak.

life? ape tu?

tepuk dada, tanya iman, bukan tanya selera.

=)

dah tahu

ya, akhirnya aku dah tahu kenapa aku nak amek medic.

Graduation

When I met you
We now have to part
Our face expressions are bright, but
We're forcing laughter through our teary eyes
I'm afraid our memories might be forgotten as the years pass by
With our anxious faces,
we look and smile at each other then put our heads down

Someday our dreams may leave us
As the years pass by, the days will just get harder
And I'll be looking back at the days I've lived
I'll think of when I was searching for my fading dreams
The memories we shared when we were young
Those childhood days.
(Translation of 2AM song, Graduation)

Now that I think about it, my memories about graduation are not so good. Not that it's not meaningful, but the experience was just so-so. Nothing special. There's no graduation ceremony during primary school, nor during lower secondary form. There was a graduation ceremony during Form 5, but it was so formal that I can't even remember the best bit about it. Everyone just cared about the ranking, the graduation robe, etc etc. And during the times at KMB, there was nothing special too. For me at least. None of my family came to the graduation, I did not meet so many teachers, and almost one third of my classmates are not there. And the orange theme, not good. Nothing spectacular happened.

But it's not about the graduation day, nor the graduation ceremony. the important thing is the memory at the place we've left behind. the place where we shared meaningful times with our friends, whether it is a sweet or bad memory. Everything that we hated during those days will come back and haunt us and will be missed, especially when we are about to start anew at a new, strange place, meeting new people, experience new culture. It's true what people say about we will only appreciate everything that we have until we lost it.

I hated quite a few people during my school days and now I miss them. I made wonderful friends and now I miss them much more. Especially when I am here, lonely, with no motivation. My heart is still in Malaysia. Because that is the place where I've left the people I love. But it made no difference if I am still in Malaysia or anywhere where I can be with them, because then I would not be able to experience this kind of loneliness and made me appreciate more the things I don't have. It made me realize that now I'm on my own, and I need to work hard to achieve my dream. True, being a doctor has never been my dream. I have no ambition to become a doctor in the first place and I believe I still don't have the passion to do so. But now, here I am, a medical student. Forget about the past. Forget about the good times in school, the sweet memories with friends, and lock it away inside the deepest part of your heart.

There is no way that time would turn back, and the past will always leave us. Only the good memories remain, but there is no point of remembering and keep reminiscing the past. Everybody else keeps running and running, leaving you behind when you're not aware of it. So put the past aside, and think ahead. Step forward and keep running alongside the people around you.

Whenever you remember times go by. (Whenever You Remember, Carrie Underwood)